I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
