Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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