doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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