sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize