her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
