He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
