Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize