Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
