Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
