why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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