why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
