I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
