so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
