how can u be prego again
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
