he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
