she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
