I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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