Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
