The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
