Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
She has the best kind of daddy issues
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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