The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
