The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
