This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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