evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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