I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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