omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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