I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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