Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
