where does the pee come out of this thing
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
