Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
