I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
