i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
