He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
