I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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