hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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