How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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