so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
