Christians are straight up FREAKS
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
