I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize