I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i dont even know how to be here
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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