Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
