Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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