Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
