32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he shaved USA in his pubs
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Im part way to drunk.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize