he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
