Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
