I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
