And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
