wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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