So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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