these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
