I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
its not stalking. its research.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Less talking, more tequila
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
