My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
one might say we're banned from that church
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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