I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Randomize
