It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
