He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
