4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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