How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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