Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
