It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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