Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
