"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Randomize
