Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
