I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
