i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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