Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Moan for me like Helen Keller
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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