Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
