went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
