u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize