It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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