he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
