clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
