we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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