i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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