Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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