yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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