I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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