try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
