Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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