Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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