I bet he comes in French.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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