If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
