I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
